Love One Another
Why can’t we be like them? Years ago I was in a congregation where the basic group of people who did the major amount of work in the congregation was a bunch of newly-wed couples. And what was fascinating was seeing how, when given tasks, each couple worked at that task. When given a task, in one couple, the husband quickly diagnosed the problem and then divided up the work between himself and his wife. In another couple, each of them would study the situation, talk about it, and then each of them would divide up the work and get it done separately. But then there was a third couple. That third couple immediately started working on the problem together. And what was shocking was that they actually did work better together than apart. They weren’t in each other’s way at all. After seeing this, the wife in one of the other couples said to her husband, “why can’t we be like that?” And the husband shouted across the room, “stop making me look bad.” There are those times in our lives when we see a relationship that two people have and we yearn to have what they have. This morning, in John’s gospel, we have that sort of example. In John 15, starting at verse 9, we read: ““As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.” (John 15:9 NIV11-GKE)
Our Father and his Son, Jesus have a unique, beautiful and perfect relationship. The Father has a perfect love for his Son. The Son has a perfect love for his Father. And as we read these words, we end up asking the question, “why can’t I have that too?” And what is amazing in these words is that Jesus tells us that that is exactly what Jesus does for us. Just as the Father loves the son, in that same exact way the Son has shown his love for us. But then, right after Jesus says that the Father loves the Son and the Son loves us, what does Jesus tell us? “Now remain in my love.” (John 15:9 NIV11-GKE)
The same love that the Father has toward the Son, the Son has toward us. And now that you have that love, Jesus tells you to remain in it and to not mess it up. What follows then is an answer to a question. If we ask the question, how—how can we remain in that love, here is the answer Jesus tells us: “10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” (John 15:10–12 NIV11-GKE)
How can we remain in the love that Jesus has for us? We keep Jesus’ commands. And Jesus even narrows the focus down to just one command: love one another. Notice how here is a really good place to talk about what love actually is. In english we have one word, “love” to describe many different types of love. I can use the same word in many contexts. I can say I love my wife, my children, good movies and good pizza. And if you can use the same word to describe your bond with your spouse or children and also use it to describe food, you have to realize that the word runs the risk of becoming worthless. The word that Jesus uses here is a very special and specific word. In greek the word is, ⲁⲅⲁⲡⲏ. It’s the sort of love that brings out the best in what it loves. There is no cost, no extreme, no limit that this love goes to to do what is best for its object. And Jesus gives an example of this in the words which follow: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13 NIV11-GKE)
If you want to see true ⲁⲅⲁⲡⲏ love, then look at someone laying down his life for another person. That is the fullest extent of what it looks like to do what is best for the other person. Notice how in these words Jesus is the model for what this love looks like. When Jesus says these words he’s only a few hours away from being captured and crucified for the sins of the world.
But even as we read these words we see how far away we are from them. For in our lives the types of love we show are often the opposite of this ⲁⲅⲁⲡⲏ love. Agape love does what is best for the person it loves. Our sort of love does what is best for us. One of the ways I see this more and more is when I see parents. More and more today I hear moms and daughters referring to each other as “besties” and “bff”s. And while the bond between a mother and daughter is strong, making it into a “besties” sort of love is not natural. And it’s not natural for one simple reason: Your mom has to do what is best for you. And for many years of your life that means that your mom has to say “no.” When you want to stay up too late at night, she says, “no.” When you want what your family can’t afford, she says, “no.” When you say something stupid or do something selfish, she lashes out in anger. And, again, she does this for one simple reason: she is doing what is best for you. This naturally creates a relationship that is not “besties.” But it’s a good, healthy relationship. I use this as an example. But there are so many others, aren’t there? Every time our knee-jerk reaction is to think and say to ourselves, “what do I want or need” instead of saying, “what does the person next to me want or need” I show the lack of this ⲁⲅⲁⲡⲏ sort of love.
Jesus tells us to show this sort of love to others. Then he holds himself up as the model for this sort of love. But he’s not just the model for this sort of love. He is also the motivation for this sort of love. He is our motivation because the love we are unable to show he did. When is it that Jesus speaks these words? He says that he will lay down his life for them even though he knows that Judas will betray them and the rest will abandon him. And we find the result of this in the words that follow: “14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” (John 15:14–16 NIV11-GKE)
Not only are our sins of self-love forgiven. But by laying down his life for us, Jesus makes us his friends. And here too, that word, “friend” needs some explanation. The word that Jesus uses describes the love of equals. It is a love based on what is shared. For example, if you’re a Vikings fan you can go into so many bars and especially if the game is playing, you have instant friends. But if you don’t know anything about the Vikings or football, but instead you know so very much about curling, don’t expect to find any friends. We are friends with Jesus. We are friends with him because we share with him what is so important to him. Because he laid down his own life for us, now we are clothed with his perfect. But even more than that, we are his friends because we know his Father’s will just as Jesus does. We know the Father who created the universe, cares for it, and cares for us. We know him and his plan for us.
All of this then motivates us then to do the one thing Jesus asks. In our final words, we read: “This is my command: Love each other.” (John 15:17 NIV11-GKE) Notice how simple and wonderful these words are in their own way. How can you repay Jesus for laying down his life to win your life for him? What do you have that would balance out Jesus’ life poured out for you? The simple answer is; nothing. We cannot repay Jesus. But Jesus does give us the opportunity to thank him. And we worship and thank him by showing this true Christian ⲁⲅⲁⲡⲏ sort of love toward each other.
Now, if you hear these words, and instead of being filled with joy at hearing them, you are filled with sadness, because you see how powerful your sinful nature is to lead you to only care for yourself—if that’s the case, then travel with me back to these words yet again. Jesus laid down his life for you. Those sins you commit when you care for and worship yourself are forgiven. And with thankfulness, pure thankfulness, he moves and motivates us to show this ⲁⲅⲁⲡⲏ sort of love to others. So my dear friends in Christ, Love on anther. For Jesus is the model of love. And he is also the motivation for love. Amen.